Mid life crisis at 28
A couple of my closest friends are going through what I recognize as a mid-life crisis, only they are in their late 20s. One might go back to school. Another is doing the opposite, considering giving up her huge income to do something for the love of it. Two months ago I was convinced I wanted to be a nurse. We haven't really figured out why we're so all over the place. Why weren't we able to make our first careers work for us? Are we giving up too soon? What are we searching for? Shouldn't we just be able to choose something and make it work? Isn't that what we were taught in school? We can do anything we put our minds to, right?
Nowadays, reality should probably be addressed in school like this: You can probably do some of what you really want to do maybe, if you're willing to sacrifice money, stability, health care... or, if you're extremely lucky, or born rich. Actually, you should just be a nurse.
We've got to prepare ourselves for retirement, and figure out health care. We've gotta do the college thing and the career thing just to pay our bills. When do we think about kids? Are they condemned to being born to a mommy with a pitiful 3 month maternity leave? And what if the 60 percent divorce rate hits us? We've gotta have a backup plan, too. No more counting on a spouse for anything. We were taught to be independent. It's smart.
Men almost have it easy nowadays. They have one role: Moneymaker. As women, we grow up planning for two lives, not one, a career woman and a mom woman. I've found myself going in circles trying to figure out the next step in life. I'm not alone.
According to a book called "Mid-life Crisis at 30" our generation is facing backlash from the feminist revolution. We watched our mothers' generation take on everything all at once. There was this idea that they, unlike their mothers, could really have it all. College, a career and kids. We're saying wait a sec--thanks a million for the opportunities, but are we really supposed to do everything?
I am all for being liberated, and feel so lucky in this country that I can go out and find work when I need it. But is every generation from here on out gonna be raised by the TV while we work? And are two incomes really necessary? Surely we don't all have to live in the Bay Area. When you're dual income, you can afford shiny things, but at what cost? Wouldn't it just be nicer to live poor and happy...with plenty of time?
My book would be titled "Mid-Life Crisis at 28." I am starting to see us as the confused, wandering, curious generation. Half my friends were married at age 25. The other half is just like me: Postponing and delaying the family thing till we've exhausted all other options. Until we're struck with fear that our biological clocks are about outta time. Obviously other generations struggled with similar thoughts or there would have never been women in the workplace, or a backlash.
After seeing that property in Stevenson, I have been daydreaming about having little kids run around the property while I gather tomatoes and herbs from the garden to make soup for when daddy gets home. I considered living off of one income, his, and using mine for things like travel, and investments. But at the same time I feel guilty. I've been taught by society that I need to earn my own money, and keep it seperate. Pay half the mortgage, half the bills. One and one equal two. But is it really society's pressure, or is it just me wrestling with my own conciousness? Could I possibly step back and allow someone else to provide for me? Sure would be a hell of a lot easier. Think of how much time I'd have to research interest rates and creative financing, time to look for property and interview neighbors. If Iwasn't spinning my wheels covering the board of education for the paper I could be researching what stocks to buy and which developing third-world countries are the most promising for investments. I could have time to fix up a place, learn how to tile... build a kiln and press clay to make my own tile. Grow a garden that could feed an army, and raise kids.
Shit, I may be craving a life from before the agricultural revolution! Have we gone nowhere since then? Have we gone full-circle?
Nowadays, reality should probably be addressed in school like this: You can probably do some of what you really want to do maybe, if you're willing to sacrifice money, stability, health care... or, if you're extremely lucky, or born rich. Actually, you should just be a nurse.
We've got to prepare ourselves for retirement, and figure out health care. We've gotta do the college thing and the career thing just to pay our bills. When do we think about kids? Are they condemned to being born to a mommy with a pitiful 3 month maternity leave? And what if the 60 percent divorce rate hits us? We've gotta have a backup plan, too. No more counting on a spouse for anything. We were taught to be independent. It's smart.
Men almost have it easy nowadays. They have one role: Moneymaker. As women, we grow up planning for two lives, not one, a career woman and a mom woman. I've found myself going in circles trying to figure out the next step in life. I'm not alone.
According to a book called "Mid-life Crisis at 30" our generation is facing backlash from the feminist revolution. We watched our mothers' generation take on everything all at once. There was this idea that they, unlike their mothers, could really have it all. College, a career and kids. We're saying wait a sec--thanks a million for the opportunities, but are we really supposed to do everything?
I am all for being liberated, and feel so lucky in this country that I can go out and find work when I need it. But is every generation from here on out gonna be raised by the TV while we work? And are two incomes really necessary? Surely we don't all have to live in the Bay Area. When you're dual income, you can afford shiny things, but at what cost? Wouldn't it just be nicer to live poor and happy...with plenty of time?
My book would be titled "Mid-Life Crisis at 28." I am starting to see us as the confused, wandering, curious generation. Half my friends were married at age 25. The other half is just like me: Postponing and delaying the family thing till we've exhausted all other options. Until we're struck with fear that our biological clocks are about outta time. Obviously other generations struggled with similar thoughts or there would have never been women in the workplace, or a backlash.
After seeing that property in Stevenson, I have been daydreaming about having little kids run around the property while I gather tomatoes and herbs from the garden to make soup for when daddy gets home. I considered living off of one income, his, and using mine for things like travel, and investments. But at the same time I feel guilty. I've been taught by society that I need to earn my own money, and keep it seperate. Pay half the mortgage, half the bills. One and one equal two. But is it really society's pressure, or is it just me wrestling with my own conciousness? Could I possibly step back and allow someone else to provide for me? Sure would be a hell of a lot easier. Think of how much time I'd have to research interest rates and creative financing, time to look for property and interview neighbors. If Iwasn't spinning my wheels covering the board of education for the paper I could be researching what stocks to buy and which developing third-world countries are the most promising for investments. I could have time to fix up a place, learn how to tile... build a kiln and press clay to make my own tile. Grow a garden that could feed an army, and raise kids.
Shit, I may be craving a life from before the agricultural revolution! Have we gone nowhere since then? Have we gone full-circle?
Comments