And the application process begins...
I have started looking at nursing schools I want to get into, and finding that so are 800 other qualified people in Portland. I knew that though. What I didn't realize is that applying for nursing school could potentially be a full-time job.
I've done all the pre-requisites, the anatomy, chemistry, whatever. But, it's not good enough. Nursing schools don't have enough room for all of us and they've had to come up with deterrents to keep students away. There's too many of us, and it's driving them mad.
I went to the advising office of Mount Hood Community College the other day and overheard a counselor telling a student in a rather condescending tone, "You want to do nursing? You and everybody else."
I called the college the next day for a question, and guess who I got on the phone?
ME: "Yeah, hi, I have a question about the nursing pre-req's..."
Guy: "Oh, you and everybody else..."
Besides all the regular core classes you need to have completed before applying, each individual school has their very own special requirements. Hawaii Pacific University requires all nursing students to have an Asian/Pacific Islander class. Linfield requires cultural anthropology. PCC requires a reading test that must be taken prior to applying. (No, having a B.A. doesn't prove you can read). OHSU requires a microbiology grade of a "B" or better. Clackamas pre req's must be taken within the past 5 years. Some programs require statistics. Some don't.
And all this would be fine if you could simply choose a school, complete the requirements and get on with it. But when 800 people are competing for 120 spots at Linfield, and those same people are also competing for the 100 at OHSU, and at MHCC, and Walla Walla, and PCC... it makes more sense to apply for all the programs you can, or risk sitting and waiting until the next year's application date comes up. Some schools admit via lottery only.
And, taking into account that I've already been through college once and taken all my mind-expanding courses that were required (and then some), it's kinda annoying. Is anthropology really going to help me be a better nurse?
This semester I am enrolling in 3 more classes, all to satisfy requirements for 3 different schools. I am currently looking at schools as far as Nebraska, to see if my particular classes match up with their bozo requirements. Isn't astronomy a requirement anywhere? What about Spanish? Weight lifiting? Economics? Sociology? Philosophy? World religion?
One thing I remember from college the first time is that it's an education in itself just to wade through the bullshit. At the community colleges, where they offer only an associates degree, the requirements seem to be stricter. It's a cheaper option, so I figure they must have more applicants. Turns out my 5 years of experience as a nurse's aid means nothing to Mount Hood Community College, and other community colleges since it was more than 2 years ago, and I don't have a current license in Oregon. I won't even go into why I don't have a current license...
My point is, they will see my application right alongside a student who decided to jump into nursing a year ago. We'll be graded the same, only I've disimpacted colons with my gloved fingers. Yup. It's all out now... I've given enemas, I've given post mortem care, I've emptied colostomy bags and ilieostomy bags. I've helped put in foley catheters, and ng tubes. I've helped with circumcisions and helped bathe a 500 pound man on a ventilator in ICU. I've held the hands of people dying. I've even prayed with them.
I've been told I'm awesome by coworkers, and bosses have said they'd re-hire me if I ever needed work.
But that doesn't matter. What matters is that I have a "B" or better in microbiology within the last 5 years, that I volunteer with all my spare time, and that I pass the reading test. And, if I am lucky, I'll be invited to a panel interview where they'll ask me important questions like "What would you do if your neighbor was getting abused by her husband?" To see what kind of a person I really am.
Critical thinking skills are important, yes. But in reading about the industry, it seems that there is a huge amount of turnover in nursing due to the fact that the job sucks. It's hard. It's not glamorous. It's not fun a lot of the time. People come out of school with no idea in Hell what nursing is like. Type "I hate nursing" into Google, and see what I mean.
Many new nurses seem to have been misguided, and thought it was all 12-hour shifts in a nice, compassionate, caring atmosphere. Or maybe they were going after the adrenaline-pumping action like on TV. Whatever it was, they are leaving the profession, dropping like flies, and it's not helping the nursing shortage that exists to begin with. Oh sure, I can handle stress, they think. Warm and fuzzy. But what happens when you get screamed at by a doctor, nurse, family member or irate patient? Maybe that should be part of the school's screening process.
See how you can take this:
-The contents of a colostomy bag dumped on your shoes.
-A man screaming at you to see your supervisor because his wife isn't supposed to have a male nurse.
-Give a full bed bath to a 34-year-old quadriplegic male with AIDS.
-Walk in one morning to find your favorite patient dead.
-Change a 85 year-old man's diarrhea diaper five times over 8 hours.
-Put a condom catheter on a man close to your age, then see how you deal with it when you accidentally insult his "size".
And yes, each one of these happened to me. I think the colostomy bag was the worst. But the patient and I laughed so hard it hurt.
But no, what do the schools do? They offer more 1-year accelerated programs for $40,000 a year to anyone who holds a BA in anything. Then they screen based on some model developed in fantasyland, and put more weight on cumulative GPA and test scores than anything else. And my GPA is fine. I was on the President's Honors list in college. But journalism courses don't matter.
Whoops. That didn't start out as a rant, I swear. My new mission includes a total blitzkrieg, and when schools say jump through these hoops, I say oh, yes please, gimme more. Because it's better than making $20 or 30 or even 40 grand a year without benefits. I made more as a nurses aid than I did at my first job out of college.
Kinda sad, isn't it?
I've done all the pre-requisites, the anatomy, chemistry, whatever. But, it's not good enough. Nursing schools don't have enough room for all of us and they've had to come up with deterrents to keep students away. There's too many of us, and it's driving them mad.
I went to the advising office of Mount Hood Community College the other day and overheard a counselor telling a student in a rather condescending tone, "You want to do nursing? You and everybody else."
I called the college the next day for a question, and guess who I got on the phone?
ME: "Yeah, hi, I have a question about the nursing pre-req's..."
Guy: "Oh, you and everybody else..."
Besides all the regular core classes you need to have completed before applying, each individual school has their very own special requirements. Hawaii Pacific University requires all nursing students to have an Asian/Pacific Islander class. Linfield requires cultural anthropology. PCC requires a reading test that must be taken prior to applying. (No, having a B.A. doesn't prove you can read). OHSU requires a microbiology grade of a "B" or better. Clackamas pre req's must be taken within the past 5 years. Some programs require statistics. Some don't.
And all this would be fine if you could simply choose a school, complete the requirements and get on with it. But when 800 people are competing for 120 spots at Linfield, and those same people are also competing for the 100 at OHSU, and at MHCC, and Walla Walla, and PCC... it makes more sense to apply for all the programs you can, or risk sitting and waiting until the next year's application date comes up. Some schools admit via lottery only.
And, taking into account that I've already been through college once and taken all my mind-expanding courses that were required (and then some), it's kinda annoying. Is anthropology really going to help me be a better nurse?
This semester I am enrolling in 3 more classes, all to satisfy requirements for 3 different schools. I am currently looking at schools as far as Nebraska, to see if my particular classes match up with their bozo requirements. Isn't astronomy a requirement anywhere? What about Spanish? Weight lifiting? Economics? Sociology? Philosophy? World religion?
One thing I remember from college the first time is that it's an education in itself just to wade through the bullshit. At the community colleges, where they offer only an associates degree, the requirements seem to be stricter. It's a cheaper option, so I figure they must have more applicants. Turns out my 5 years of experience as a nurse's aid means nothing to Mount Hood Community College, and other community colleges since it was more than 2 years ago, and I don't have a current license in Oregon. I won't even go into why I don't have a current license...
My point is, they will see my application right alongside a student who decided to jump into nursing a year ago. We'll be graded the same, only I've disimpacted colons with my gloved fingers. Yup. It's all out now... I've given enemas, I've given post mortem care, I've emptied colostomy bags and ilieostomy bags. I've helped put in foley catheters, and ng tubes. I've helped with circumcisions and helped bathe a 500 pound man on a ventilator in ICU. I've held the hands of people dying. I've even prayed with them.
I've been told I'm awesome by coworkers, and bosses have said they'd re-hire me if I ever needed work.
But that doesn't matter. What matters is that I have a "B" or better in microbiology within the last 5 years, that I volunteer with all my spare time, and that I pass the reading test. And, if I am lucky, I'll be invited to a panel interview where they'll ask me important questions like "What would you do if your neighbor was getting abused by her husband?" To see what kind of a person I really am.
Critical thinking skills are important, yes. But in reading about the industry, it seems that there is a huge amount of turnover in nursing due to the fact that the job sucks. It's hard. It's not glamorous. It's not fun a lot of the time. People come out of school with no idea in Hell what nursing is like. Type "I hate nursing" into Google, and see what I mean.
Many new nurses seem to have been misguided, and thought it was all 12-hour shifts in a nice, compassionate, caring atmosphere. Or maybe they were going after the adrenaline-pumping action like on TV. Whatever it was, they are leaving the profession, dropping like flies, and it's not helping the nursing shortage that exists to begin with. Oh sure, I can handle stress, they think. Warm and fuzzy. But what happens when you get screamed at by a doctor, nurse, family member or irate patient? Maybe that should be part of the school's screening process.
See how you can take this:
-The contents of a colostomy bag dumped on your shoes.
-A man screaming at you to see your supervisor because his wife isn't supposed to have a male nurse.
-Give a full bed bath to a 34-year-old quadriplegic male with AIDS.
-Walk in one morning to find your favorite patient dead.
-Change a 85 year-old man's diarrhea diaper five times over 8 hours.
-Put a condom catheter on a man close to your age, then see how you deal with it when you accidentally insult his "size".
And yes, each one of these happened to me. I think the colostomy bag was the worst. But the patient and I laughed so hard it hurt.
But no, what do the schools do? They offer more 1-year accelerated programs for $40,000 a year to anyone who holds a BA in anything. Then they screen based on some model developed in fantasyland, and put more weight on cumulative GPA and test scores than anything else. And my GPA is fine. I was on the President's Honors list in college. But journalism courses don't matter.
Whoops. That didn't start out as a rant, I swear. My new mission includes a total blitzkrieg, and when schools say jump through these hoops, I say oh, yes please, gimme more. Because it's better than making $20 or 30 or even 40 grand a year without benefits. I made more as a nurses aid than I did at my first job out of college.
Kinda sad, isn't it?
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